Today is not my day. Or at least, the past few weeks.

• My MacBook Pro is dead. Well, not really. My dad decided not to have it repaired anymore for it’s too costly (as expensive as a new one). Good bye, Iker Casillas. You have served me well for a year and a half.
• With that being said, I won’t be able to update my Tumblr as much as I wait for a new laptop.
• It upsets me how I have a lot of photos that I want to show but have no means of post processing them, or putting my newly acquired Photoshop knowledge to use.
• I want to do something with my hair right now. All my life I’ve always had long, layered hair (which I never bother fixing) - and I’m getting tired of it. My friends are insisting I get a bob or something as short, (JL even mentioned that I should have it bleached) but I’m still having second thoughts if I could give a short ‘do justice.
• I’m annoyed with everything right now, for no apparent reasons. #hormones

Lastly, and probably the most important realization I had for the past six months:

• Since I was a high school freshman, I was already set on taking an art course - a graphic design course, to be exact. I looked through various universities for that perfect course until I stumbled upon AdMU’s BFA Information Design. Dream course in a dream school, what could possibly go wrong? Everything, so it seems. Only six months into college and I’m already doubting myself. I’ve always thought that I was actually good in art, that I was meant to be a visual artist, but now that I’m here, more often than not, I feel worthless. I love art, and I know a lot of people will kill to be in my place, but are those reasons enough to make me stay and finish this? I have always had issues with my self-esteem, and the fact that the people surrounding me are the ones doubting if I can really go far with a Bachelor’s Degree in Fine Arts are just making it worse.
• Don’t get me wrong, though, I love my block - never in my life have I met so much people that I can actually relate to. They’re also one of the reasons that I want to stay. But some of my blockmates are planning to shift, too, and it isn’t helping either.
• Oh, if anyone’s wondering, I’m considering shifting to AB Communication (advertising track), which is actually my second choice when I applied for college.

I’m not myself lately (when was I ever myself, really?). I’m just really frustrated about my existence right now.